What is Your Testimony?

My husband's Testimony -July13th, 2013

I used to think I had one of those “regular ordinary salvation stories.”  I was 10, at church camp, and the preacher said to everyone, “If you don’t want to go to hell when you die, you must be saved.  Come on up to the front and we’ll show you how to do it!”  So with some hesitation…I did.  I went to the front where some man took me and a few other kids to the side and asked us if we “believed Jesus was the Son of God?”…yes.   “Did Jesus get crucified on the cross for our sins?”…yes, “die?”…yes, and “was three days later raised from the grave?”…yes.  “Do you want to go to hell?”…ye…err…no.  “Great, repeat this prayer after me and ask Jesus into your heart”.  Whew, I was saved.  I didn’t feel any different except I was glad I had stamped my ticket to heaven.   Now all that was left was to live a good Christian life and be good…I can do that, right? I mean, after all everyone is a sinner, so if I sin it’s ok.  I’ve got Jesus in my heart …he’ll forgive me…right?  Time to get baptized! 

Fast forward 24 years later.  I’ve married a beautiful Godly woman who was saved a few years back, we have an incredible daughter.  I have a job that pays the bills which allows my wife to stay home.  I try to be a good husband and good father.  I try to be a good manager at work, a good server at church and still working on trying to be a good Christian.  All the things I’m supposed to be doing.  Everything was going smooth until one day my wife asked me what my testimony was.  I told her, “I may or may not have been saved back when I was 10 at church camp.”  She refused to accept that answer and persisted until I gave her… “In case I wasn’t, I’ve repeated the process about 400 times in the last 24 years just to make sure.”  To which she again refused to accept that answer and persisted until I gave her…  “I think it truly happened sometime about a year and a half ago when I prayed again and asked God to give me comfort if I were truly saved.  I was comforted.”  She finally responded with, “So when did you get saved?”  “I don’t know…but I know I’m saved.  I believe everything I’m supposed to, I’ve asked Jesus into my heart, I’ve even repented.”  I’m going to stop right now to tell you a little about my wife.  I love her more than anything.  She has the spiritual gift of prophecy.  That doesn’t mean she can tell the future.  Although sometimes I think she can.  A prophet’s basic motivational drive is to apply the Word of God to a situation so that sin is exposed, which basically means she can (and has) call me out over every bit of BS I’ve ever tried to lay at her feet since we’ve met.  It’s been surprisingly good for our marriage.  So my wife asked me, “What does repent mean to you?”  That’s easy, bible 101 easy, “to turn away from sin!”  Her response, “I’ll pray for you.”  What does that mean?  She doesn’t think I’m saved?  I mean my wife is usually right about everything…maybe this is the one exception to that…it can’t be.  I know I’m saved.  I’ll prove it to her.  I prayed that God would show me how to show someone I’m saved.  This is where I’ll caution you to be careful what you pray for, you just might get it.

I started researching what the steps are to get saved.  I wanted to show her I’ve got a check mark in each box.  So I searched in the bible…no check-list, on google…no check-list, I listened to sermons…no check-list.  Somebody’s got to have a check-list so I can prove that I’m saved.    During this time we repeated the above conversation another five or six times.  Each time I was more determined to prove that I got saved. 

How did I get saved?  How did I get saved?  I was sitting in my office at work on June 26^th 2013 asking myself this question.  All those years in the church listening to sermons, all the books I’ve read all the head knowledge I have and I couldn’t come up with the answer to the most important question each person has to ask themself.  I was broken.  The weight of everything I had been working on crashed down on me.  I wasn’t being a good husband, father, boss, server and definitely not a good Christian.  I was confused.  I was a hypocrite.  I couldn’t do it anymore.  I just couldn’t do it.  Then I felt the answer.  I was right.  I couldn’t do it.  I can’t get saved, I can’t make myself a good husband or father or anything else for that matter.  I was done.  I quit.  I can’t save myself.  Only God can.  Right there I cried out to God for help.  He needed to do a work in me, because I couldn’t.  I gave up 34 years of pride that I could do it myself.  I asked for forgiveness and God gave it to me.  Then I waited.  I sought after God and I waited.   Matthew 7:7 says, “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:”  I asked, I sought and I knocked, waiting for God to open up salvation for me.  Over the next week and a half God kept hitting me with His word.  Right between the eyes, everyone I spoke to, every sermon I heard, ever bit of scripture I read was a knock up side my head and a tug at my heart.  “Continue to seek me it said…have faith.”  What is faith?  I’ve spent my whole life hearing the verse in Ephesians 2:8 “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and not that of yourselves:” but I’ve always missed the last six words, “it is the gift of God.”  It is a gift of God that saves me, by grace through faith.  Ok, so how do you get faith?  Romans 10:17 “So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.”  What exactly is faith?  It took a work of God for me to get a meeting with John (our pastor’s son, pastor himself and missionary whom God has called him, his wife and their 8 children to Zambia, Africa) in his one free hour during the last 5 months.  As we sat in the front pew of the church between services I told John everything I’ve just previously said.  Then he asked what faith was to me.  If you are saved by grace through faith…what is faith?  I answered, “It’s a feeling inside.”  Then he smiled, stood up and explained this to me.  “Imagine your child is a few steps above you.  She looks at your with a big smile and her arms stretched out wide.  You tell her to jump, you’ll catch her.  So she does…and you do.”  She has to have faith that you will catch her.  It’s nothing magical, it’s not this strange little feeling she gets inside.  It’s her believing 100%, not just in her head (she knows logically I will catch her) but in her heart (she has to trust it too) that I will catch her…It’s me not just believing in my head…but also trusting in my heart that everything I hear in the Word of God is true.  Peter describes it best in 2Peter 1:16-19 where he talks about not only walking with, talking to and touching a living breathing real Jesus, but also twice hearing the voice of the almighty God Himself.  First at the baptism of Jesus and then on the holy mount during the transfiguration, that we “have a more sure word of prophecy”.  More than Peter relying on his eyes, his ears or some gut feeling…He’s telling us that faith, belief and trust, comes through hearing the Word of God... the Bible.  Half way through John’s explanation of faith, the moment I understood it, everything fell into place.  I had the overwhelming feeling of peace and comfort.  All of my head knowledge, 24 years of studying and listening and learning… moved to my heart.  It was a work of the Holy Spirit filling me.  I was saved.

That old church camp preacher was half right.  “If you don’t want to go to hell when you die, you must be saved!”  But the problem is he was half wrong as well.  Satan has no problem using a half-truth to get to you…because he knows that a half-truth is still a whole lie.  There is no check-list to get saved…no special formula.  Just turn away from your flesh, repent and turn to God.  It sounds easy enough…so easy I can’t count the number of times I’ve done it.  It really is easy, though…you just have to want it.  Really, really want it.  You have to want it so bad that you throw yourself at the feet of God your face to the ground and beg Him to do it.  And the awesome part is; if you do…He will be faithful.

That’s my testimony.  The reality is that I thought I had an ordinary story, but there is no ordinary story…God’s power is in each redemption and a supernatural rebirth can never be ordinary. After all…it’s all for His glory.  I am so grateful for God’s patience and His omniscient ability to know just what everyone needs at the exact right time.  Now, it’s time to get baptized!


Are you sure you're saved?
How sure?
What's your testimony?

 

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The Impossibility of the Christian Life - Part 1  (104 min)

The Impossibility of the Christian Life - Part 2  (90 min)

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Lost Catholic to Saved by Grace - Jacquelyn's Testimony

My testimony is so similiar to this one.  My heart is burdened for all those who grow up in a church, who participate in false religion, and who reject truth for tradition.  I spent 27 years of my life running from God before I finally ran TO God....and by His grace I was saved.
Jacquelyn (the young lady in the video) was saved at 18. 
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"And he said unto them, Full well ye reject the commandment of God, that ye may keep your own tradition ... Making the word of God of none effect through your tradition..." —Mark 7:9,13

My Testimony: From False Assurance to True Salvation

     

  Before I reveal my testimony, let me share a story about a friend of mine:

          When he was young, just a squat little toddler, he was stung by a bee.  That painful sting caused a hearty fear of anything that buzzed and he grew anxious expecting another attack.   His mother saw his distress and devised, what she considered to be, a very clever solution, “Oh, you are so lucky! Now, you can’t get stung again. “ she told him.  When he asked, “Why not?”,  she  continued, “Now that you have been stung once, no bees can ever sting you again!”  Trusting in his mother’s authority on the subject he believed the lie whole-heartedly and marched in to the world, fearless.  Many years later, at Boy Scout camp, old enough to know better, he boldly tramped across a patch of flowers and bragged to his friends that he was untouchable.   “Watch out! There are a bunch of bees over there!” his friends warned.  He ignored their warnings and shouted back confidently, “I can’t get stung!”  The other boys kept their distance from the buzzing bees and asked, “Why not?”  He answered, “Because I have already been stung. Now no bees can every sting me.”  When the boys realized he was serious, they mocked his ignorance, laughing haughtily and asking, “Who told you that?”   He immediately knew he had been deceived.  He felt foolish, humiliated, and boldly aware of the lie he had fallen prey to and the danger it had put him in.  All these years he had believed he was safe, that he was “so lucky”, that there was nothing he needed to do to protect himself.  He sought no shelter and made no effort to preserve his life.  He had been living a lie.  A very dangerous lie.

            As a child I was told to pray a prayer and “ask Jesus in to my heart”.  In fearful avoidance of eternity in hell, I obliged.  Outwardly I called myself a Christian, thinking it meant I had joined a club, identified with a clique, or gained a privileged title. They said that’s all it took.  I prayed the prayer and now I was good for life.  Then why was I still terrified that I didn’t really feel “Jesus in my heart” and how could I know He was there?   A few months later at a different church, faced with the same ignorant fear, I prayed the prayer again….and again at another church…and again.  Over the years I struggled with doubt and tried to meld my life with my idea of Christianity thinking obedience would create confidence in my security.  I was good at being good. Moral purity came easy to me and I despised the carnality of my peers.  I believed I would surely receive the love, peace, hope, and faith I had heard about,  if I was good (or at least better than those around me).  And yet, no peace came.  Bitterness grew as I impatiently waited for the hope, faith, and love I thought I was entitled to (not knowing what any of those words truly meant).  I made my own sense out of sermons and anything that could have been convicting and turned it in to false piety.   I attended Bible studies that were more like pizza parties, and youth groups that were more like night clubs and grew more judgmental of my “fellow Christians”.  My self-righteousness was accepted by those around me as “prudish” or “uptight” and I was challenged to “live a little”.  I was never asked for my testimony, leading me to believe that my cross necklace said it all. I purchased a new Bible and fancy Bible cover so I would look more like the other Christians and feel more like the other Christians. Then I would sit helplessly when scripture was recited and discussed. Never was I asked about my relationship with the Lord.  Repentance, sanctification, submission, and Lordship were never spoken of in the 9 or 10 churches I attended (and worked at) over 25 years.    I attended a church long enough to get frustrated with the hypocrisy I saw in others (blind to my own) and left without learning anyone’s name.   My heart was hardened to truth because I believed I already had it.  I was deaf to any warning because I believed I had nothing to fear.  I was in the club. I was a Christian.

       One afternoon (at 27 years old) I began reading a book about being a godly wife. I came to a chapter on submission, surrender, and reverence.  I rolled my eyes as the author pointed out the importance of submitting to the authority of your husband.  I shifted uncomfortably as I read how God expects us to show respect to our spouse.  And I held my breath when I read, “ Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” (Eph 5:22). The idea of submission was so foreign. I had never submitted to anyone…not to my husband…and never to the Lord.  The conviction came like a flood.  I stared squarely at my sin: my arrogance, my bitterness, my anger, my mistrust, my rebellious heart, my disobedience, my callousness, my anxiety, my cynicism, my unbelief, and my judgmental rejection of every authority the Lord had brought in to my life.  Like my friend in the flower patch,  I immediately knew I had been deceived.  I felt foolish, humiliated, and boldly aware of the lie I had fallen prey to and the danger it had put me in.  All those years I had believed I was safe, that I was “so lucky”, that there was nothing I needed to do to protect myself. I had sought no shelter and made no effort to preserve my life.   I had been living a lie. A very dangerous lie.

            With that clarity, I felt ashamed to flash my cross necklace, to carry my shiny new Bible, and to stand falsely under the name of Christ. I saw myself the way God saw me:  a lost sinner… on my way to hell.  For the first time I understood that lordship meant submission and submission meant breaking:  Breaking the strongholds Satan had built in my heart, breaking the habits I had developed,  breaking the thought cycles that fed my selfish ideas, and breaking free from the lies I had believed.   In my brokenness, I repented.  And the peace (I had tried to earn, demand, and purchase) came.  A peace I had never known. 

          I look back on all the pastors, teachers, priests, co-workers, family, and friends who had condoned my hypocritical Christianity rather than rebuking me.   If only they had laughed as I boldly claimed I was a Christian, and mockingly asked, “Who told you that?”  I surely would not have had an answer.  

         It makes me tremble to think that if I had died at any point during my “Christian” life, as I taught in a catholic school, as I wore a cross around my neck, as I condemned others for not measuring up to biblical standard, as I sang along to Christian music, as I carried my shiny new Bible, and as I professed Jesus as my savoir ... I would have lived out the horror of Matthew 7:21 indignantly arguing , “Lord, Lord…”  And I would have rightly received His promised response, “I never knew you; depart from me, ye that work iniquity.”   How tragic it would have been.  But, graciously, the Lord did not allow me to wander in my ignorance forever. He did not hand me over to the lies I was so willing to believe.  Instead, my beloved shepherd called for me, his lost little lamb.  He called me from misery, confusion and brokenness, so that I may know peace.  He called me from the lies of this world, so that I may know truth. He called me from cynicism and despair, so that I may know hope. And He called me from blindness, so that I may be saved. 

                                          ~Katie Priest, Child of God

 

Are you believing the lie?  Are you working your way to Heaven?  Taking the Lord's name in vain, but denying the power thereof?  Trying to find YOUR OWN way?

THERE IS BUT ONE WAY:  "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No man gets to the Father except through me." -Jesus.

We are born at enmity with our own creator (through the sin of Adam). God has made a way of reconciliation: "But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8) 

For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: [it is] the gift of God.    -Ephesians 2:8

 Christ's death was paid on our account. The payment owed for our sin is death.  And Christ Jesus took our debt upon himself and died in our place. That's what we "are saved by grace" means.  We must only believe in that sacrifice and the miracle of His resurrection for our salvation. That's what "through faith, and that not of yourselves" means. We must give up on our own righteousness, our own will, our own ways. We must seek the Lord for redemption. As we die to our pride, our fears, and our self, we will be born anew, no longer separated from God by sin, but received by the spirit of adoption. That's what "it is the gift of God" means.

And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free. - John 8:32